Tough week with the rumbles
06 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Sometimes I don’t really know if my baby being really restless or it’s just me with a low tolerance level. As I sit here to type, I can feel her stretching away from my naval all the way to my right side. This happens almost every 2 minutes or so. It doesn’t kill me but it certainly makes my day the worst feeling ever, like something trying to rip you apart slowly.
I can’t say I hate it because I need to know she’s moving to know she’s healthy, but my energy feel drained away after half an hour of it. I end up almost feeling that I’ve done stomach crunches, and short-breath. I think I’m in a bit of trouble here. Most of the time, I feel a little constipated, but tonight, it’s like I’ve been fed laxatives (maybe I had, I don’t know what’s in my dinner causing it or maybe the yogurt that I took in the evening), I had the first diarrhorea in a long time since this pregnancy.
It’s a tough week for me, because the person so full of pride in me want to do good at her job. I want to feel like I can trust myself to meet expectations, and that not being able to hurts. I don’t want to cry over it, but inside it really does hurt and makes me sad. I tell it to Jo but he just thinks I’m crazy trying to get things right, that I should just go to bed and keep myself happy so that the baby’s happy. I admit I tend to forget that I’m pregnant when I’m looking at tweaking pixels with the laptop on a pillow up to my chest. I am lucky in a way that I don’t live with my in-laws or parents, so I can be left alone to work at night. Only person who can mind me is Jo and he knows he can’t make me do what I don’t want to do. I’m in a confused state. I want to keep my pride intact by giving and doing my work, but I’m so tired that I can scream in my head.
Next week is my semi-last week of a full week of work. Usually people see a wind-down to responsibilities, but I’m handed another new project folder to added to my desktop. I’m not too crazy about it because it lacks the ownership for the next person who takes over the job of continuing with it, and I’m not entirely sure what the other designers are doing either to say that I shouldn’t be getting the responsibility for this project. I don’t know what to think anymore, it just makes me very sad and emotional at the moment. I’m not feeling happy and I don’t know how to make myself feel happy at the moment.
Mini-getaway
04 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings, Pregnancy is not a walk in the park Tags: golf, karaoke, resort, swmming
Joseph decided to bring along on his golf and stay getaway on Labour Day. I was semi-enthus about it, because my mind was on getting us to enjoy going to baby talks/shows the same way I got us looking at bridal shows when we were planning to get marrried. But he was more interested in getting me to go shop for my swimsuit the previous weekend after Friday’s visit to the gynae and being told that more exercise is good for me, swimming is best because I’m putting on too much weight by these 28 weeks, which after calculating my BMI, and comparing with pregnancy weight gain charts, makes sense to me, and giving me an upper limit of 12-15kg. I’m already at a generous weight gain of 10kg. How am I going to ration the remaining 2 to 5kg over the next 10 weeks?
So okay, allowed him to drag me to Central to buy a bikini set because didn’t see any nice tankini that would flop loosely over my belly, everything was like tight and barely stretched over past my belly button. Actually I was quite pleased with my bikini choice, besides the fact that I’ve never worn one my entire life because I’m flat-chested and skinny. Having baby boobs actually makes it look flattering, and he said so when he asked me if I want him to take a look, and he said I look good in a bikini. Except when I worn it for my swim on Saturday morning, he didn’t get to see it because he was out playing another 18 holes. I rather enjoy the morning swim in a golf resort, being surrounded by coconut palms, and wide green grass of the course, there seems to be plenty of fresh air, rather than the chill of a beach resort where the sea wind blows in. Watched a squirrel eating its breakfast in a coconut tree while I made laps across 1/2 the length of the pool, skipping when I leave the edge and swimming back to the latch on the way in. I have been having cramps in my calves for the past few weeks, and definitely not prepared to have anything happen to me in a pool, so I took it easy but cleared at least 10 laps over 1 hour to make sure I get enough exercise. Got back to the room after that 7am swim, but I didn’t see the ladies in Joseph’s golf group contact me for brekkie, and they did say they are interested in a swum too, so I just rinsed out my bikini, and waited for them to wake for brekkie, and probably go for 2nd round of swim with them. Funnily enough, they didn’t emerge for a swim after breakfast, and since I relaxed and dry, I stayed in too for some light reading while I wait for Jo to get back from his 18 holes. I so wanted to swim again on Sunday either before or after my baby class, but mum’s going out, so we got lazy, and decided to buy dinner home after class and relax in front of the telly, not a bad idea, because I still felt a little exhausted after Saturday’s wait on the causeway to go home, reaching home only around midnight.
We had a round of karaoke with Jo’s colleagues before driving home from JB. I’m sorely out of breath which I alloted to baby’s reducing the space for my diaphram, so I stayed safe with English songs that Jo can help me with, and shy away from my Stephanie Sun favourites. Think Jo wanted me to show off my fav songs too, but I’m so rusty at the karaoke thing, furthermore I don’t listen to my mp3 anymore to remember what the lyrics were. Nevertheless, had a good time, but I had to protect Joie’s ears by wrapping my Fila bag over my tummy incase the singing and music got too loud for her ears. Baby, hope you are not affected by the loud music, and I couldn’t tell too, cause she was extending herself across my belly the whole time. Didn’t know if she was bracing herself against the singing or kaypoh, wanna hear what the ruckus was.
Bloated feet and ugly cellulite
13 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings, I feel like, I love you baby, Pregnancy is not a walk in the park Tags: blues, body ache, mattress, sleep
Weather has been a bit warm for the past couple of weeks, so I got a bit of that itchy throat kind of cough, that wakes me and the little one in the tummy during the night. She doesn’t like it one bit, and would spend some time shifting and kicking while I try to get back to sleep. I have grown very used to sleep on my side, though I tend to shift whenever I wake. Hahaha, I guess now those mattress advertisements that sell the notion of not disturbing your partner if you tend to shift a lot in bed makes sense now. I just got a new mattress delivered yesterday, a high-density foam one, to replace my nearly 5-yr-old spring one, so I experimented with sleep on my back a few times last night, and it didn’t seem to hurt so much. Shall wait and see if the benefit from the new mattress persists. I prefer to lie on my back for the time being, since she isn’t that huge and heavy yet, I feel her weight pulling on my sides more when I sleep on my side, so I gotta prop a pillow on my side underneath to ease tension. She’s actually kinda cute when I feel like she curled up on my belly in a fetal position (guess that’s why it didn’t hurt so much on my back then). She was in a head down position in early 2nd trimester, and really feeling the strain in the back. Though I’m not extremely figure conscious because I used to being the skinny type, I got a tinge of blues from seeing the bones of my ankles disapppearing with the water retension in the feet, and cellulite building up in the thighs after showers. Not wearing heels since I found out about the pregnancy, but I bet I look awful in my heels with bloated feet. I exercise for health reasons, and never in the cosmetic sense; guess I really need to take exercise more seriously postnatal.
I bet this is what you want to hear about, Sally.
Holiday away, with baby or without?
08 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
Been chatting with my hb over the past couple of days about getting away, since he needs an outlet from work, and wants to go somewhere with me. haha, sometimes I remind him that it’ll be the 3 of us on holiday, because I ain’t sure I can leave the baby behind, at least not while she is still on BM. But if we do, I don’t think I wanna be in tow with parents. Feels like a drama rolling out in front of strangers when the whole family is involved, no matter how much help extra hands can render on the trip. I haven’t been shopping lots with my mum over the years anyways, nor hang with my in-law with her shopping. We usually just go our own ways and then meet up again.
Reason why the scenario sits badly in my mind was the few families in the tour I was in during my honeymoon. There were families in different stages, with newborn, with 2 year old, with 7 and older… The family with the newborn (probably 4 months?) was the drama on the bus, and subsequently an unspoken joke amongst the other passengers. Not only did they fail to maintain any dignified decorum of themselves (the mother and the grandmother anyways), they made it difficult for the rest of the family and friend who came with them enjoy any of their holiday either. I don’t think that the busload of people came from shabby backgrounds, as rarely low-income earners would choose to go to Japan for a holiday simply because the money won’t stretch very far, and definitely substantial spending is expected if you want to enjoy the wider extent of your holiday. So I feel kinda sad for them actually.
I don’t think my baby girl will remember anything about going on a holiday that young, but I like her to be with me.
Huggies wipes, so make your mess
01 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings, Let's get creative
Chanced upon the Huggies wipes microsite. I hope I don’t see this on my floors or walls. This must be hidden from my baby, but she can play with a virtual version for that angst outburst. Some day, just not any time soon. 
Feeling Crafty
24 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings, Emptying the wallet, Let's get creative Tags: craft, esty, fabric, felt, hair clips, ribbons
Over the weekend, I got so overwhelmed by the handmade craft items for babies and little girls, that there was this irresistible urge to hunt down materials and make my own. I was in esty, craft zines, on-line ribbon shops, and fabric shops sourcing for materials to make little bows, hair clip-pies, and taggies for my little girl. The whole exercise looks incredible expensive, if I know myself well enough, and I had collected loads of these materials before in my youth, the process of putting things together will be short-lived by the other things I had to do in my life, unless it is a full-time en devour. I wanted to buy grosgrain ribbons, coloured buttons, felt and printed fabrics, the list goes on.
Things that I found incredibly cute to do:
The Long Thread’s Heart Clip-pies
Hair Clip-pies from Paper Seed
Buttercup bag from Made by Rae
Felt Purse from Paper-and-string
Craft Links
Esty Shops
Online fabric shops
Online ribbon shop
party perfect: DIY Baby Book
20 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings, I love you baby, Let's get creative, Pregnancy is not a walk in the park Tags: baby, book, photo
party perfect: weekend project #2.
A really neat idea. Works like a keepsake album of things we have, and baby gets to know what they are.
Peekaru Original™
20 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in Daily musings Tags: baby, carrier, hellboy, Total Recall
Peekaru Original™ Description (formerly known as Nori): Blue.
This is a creepy piece of baby gear. I mean sure we carry them little ones on us, but to see something poke their head out of your chest is some science-fictional. You either recall “Total Recall”, or one of those creatures in the underground market from Hellboy II: The Golden Army.
Hungry hungry hippo
18 Mar 2009 1 Comment
in Daily musings, I feel like, I love you baby, Pregnancy is not a walk in the park
Today I have the unbearable urge to keep on eating, and it has been that way since I had quaker oats in the morning, to lotus root soup for lunch, yogurt, ice-cream, marshmallows, apples, and now I’m cooking noodles as a last resort. On the other hand, I think my little darling is also saying mummy, I’m not giving any more room for the food. My tummy is so tight, even my hubby who put on some cocoa butter on my tummy says it’s taut.
Okay, the water’s boiling for the noodles
